So Seth really wanted a Nintendo Switch. And MicroStrategy was offering a Nintendo Switch for the best embedded analytics hack, which is a term I absolutely, definitely, 100% completely understand. So I guess we had to do embedded analytics.

And so we crawled through some data sets so we could use #bigdata, and we found a trove of transcripts from old seasons of The Bachelorette.

So this is the BFL - the Bachelorette Fantasy League.

Then Seth went out and got s@#!faced drunk, so I did this entire thing by myself.


  • Scrape transcripts to determine how many times someone was mentioned, how many times someone spoke, and how many words a person spoke in an episode
  • The above metrics give you a rough indicator of how prominent someone was in an episode. And as we all know - the goal is not to get The Bachelorette - the goal is to get yourself as much airtime as possible. So we're finding the real winners here.
  • Code built in a modular way so that you can easily add your own statistics to track, feasibly allowing this to be used for almost any reality show (except after 10:00 PM I just hardcoded everything to the Bachelorette instead oopsie)
  • Fantasy league admin can add episodes to the season just by dropping in a transcript .txt file
  • Pick your dream team of men and watch your score compete with others' as you simulate the season

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