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The Beginning of All Beginnings.

Romeo, a young man with ambition. Juliet, a young woman with extraordinary memory. Hamlet, a young man with a dream.

    Act I: Merciless Rants.

    Scene I: Anger.
[Enter Romeo and Juliet]

Romeo: You are the product of a codpiece and the square of a horrible sorry villainous pig. Thou art as slow as the difference between a pretty lovely sweet flower and thyself. Speak your mind.

[Exit Romeo and Juliet]

    Scene II: Insults.
[Enter Hamlet and Juliet]

Juliet: You are a brave proud mighty prince. You are the sum of yourself and a distasteful pig. You are the sum of yourself and a coward.

Hamlet: You disgusting oozing infected hound. You are the square of the difference between a lovely plum and yourself. Thou art the sum of myself and yourself. Speak your mind.

Juliet: You are as cruel as the difference between a beautiful rich brave girl and a stupid pig! Speak your mind.

[Exit Hamlet and Juliet]

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• shakespeare