Spot Prizes: FRESHMEN, USELESS
I was sitting in the park when suddenly, there was a loud screeching noise and a blue box materialised in front of me. I was utterly gobsmacked, what was this strange device? Where did it come from? Out emerged, dressed immaculately in a bright suit, a most extraordinary gentleman. The Ice Cream Man moved quickly to appease the children who had quickly gathered around the truck. I thought to myself "I should totally write about this", and I did.
As I wrote, I pondered whether this lousy process of writing essays could be made easier, and then it struck me. Companies and advertisers already have a crapload of information about us which they use for their own purposes. What if, I could make something that would take information from us, and rather than selling it, would use it to help us author documents.
The application entitled DOCtor uses advanced natural language processing algorithms, combined with the collective wealth of knowledge of the internet to automagically ease the essay writing process. It reads the essay as you write it and maintains a constant feed of articles and other information that you can take advantage of in your literary pursuits. As more and more people use our application, we will fine tune the algorithm to improve the quality of results provided, the system will not only read the essay, it will understand the essay.
Of course, it won't be enough to just provide information, links to StackExchange questions help address misconceptions the author may have and provide questions that readers might raise while reading the essay. By doing this, DOCtor will ensure that both the content and the quality of the essay are enhanced.
The best part is, DOCtor is a fully functioning text editor that is dead simple to use. AutoCorrect is old news.
To use the app, simply go to http://bagus.ketupat.me and enter your email address and password. A special "Serious" mode can be activated by clicking the triangle with the exclamation mark in the top bar. This will activate encouragement every for every 10 words typed and special spacetime audiovisuals to help the user completely immerse himself/herself in his/her work. Want to style your text? Simply highlight it to apply markdown styles.