Meta-analyses of the effects of sitting on health are conclusive: sitting kills (c.f. http://www.popsci.com/science/gallery/2013-02/7-ways-sitting-will-kill-you/). However, apart from expensive accelerometer-clad wristbands, no simple app exists to track periods of inactivity and motivate one to stand up and move more often. Couchometer is a simple single-use app designed to increase productivity through timed reminders to take active breaks throughout the day. This is accomplished through light machine learning and battery-conscious polling of accelerometer data.